Only one day left! Hurry hurry! Do all those things you've never got around to doing because as from midnight tonight its all going to hell in a handbasket........and its all according to woo woo Yisrayl Hawkins who has found all this in revelations. I tried reading some of his stuff on the website but it was like letting ants crawl around in my head. Anway, as he says on his website '1 day left before the start of nuclear war'. Golly, he's a nut. A brazil nut, or perhaps a cashew.

Just to put your minds at rest I say, in my capacity as Arch Nematode of the High Church of Lost Socks, that it won't happen and the only mishap tomorrow will be the disappearance of a small dog called Alan from his home in Kendel. Don't worry, he'll be found in time for his tea.