Two days of giving seminars, all well and good but it distracts me from my job which is a little annoying as the clock is ticking (i.e. whole new content for the website to deliver, and only 10 months left to it.). Maybe I shouldn't complain, 'Rome was built in a day', as they say.

And now I remember the useless bollocks which I want to share. Ipod conversations. Not talking to your ipod but rather the wierd conversations it has when you scroll down through song titles. All you have to do is create two personas, give each alternate song titles and then enjoy a strange, cryptic and, at times, affecting conversation. No cheating, you can't move, or omit songs. For example:

on the street corner...

Dude 1: Ain't my bitch
Dude 2: Ain't no right
Dude 1: Ain't that unusual?

the brief encounter...

Dude 1: Do anything you want to
Dude 2: Do I know you?

the truth hurts...

Dude 1: Has my fire really gone out?
Dude 2: Hate to say I told you so

the uncharitable...

Dude 1: Help the aged
Dude 2: Help yourself

the wierd...

Dude 1: I'm a chump
Dude 2: I'm a man
Dude 1: I'm amazed
Dude 2: I'm leaving now

the come on..

Dude 1: I'm partial to your abracadabra
Dude 2: I'm the only gay eskimo

the point scoring...

Dude 1: I don't like drugs
Dude 2: I don't play piano

and the saddest breakup...

Dude 1: I just called to say I love you
Dude 2: I just don't know what to do with myself
Dude 1: I just want to have something to do
Dude 2: I know it's over
Dude 1: I like you

and the odd...

Dude 1: I wanna be adored
Dude 2: I wanna be sedated

and the sex scene...

Dude 1: It's right in front of you
Dude 2: It's true that we love one another
Dude 1: It's up to you
Dude 2: It ain't gonna work
Dude 1: It can't come quickly enough
Dude 2: It feels good
Dude 1: It must be love

and the forgetful...

Dude 1: Where's Captain Kirk
Dude 2: Where's me jumper
Dude 1: Where is my mind?

and the put down...

Dude 1: You look so fine
Dude 2: You need hands

And to think I could have used the last five minutes to meaningfully improve my life. Suck. ('sigh', in Swedish)