so you don't need to come here for a few weeks as I'm buggering off on holiday - for the next week me and K will be investigating the cheese mines of Rhodes and then, for the second week, collecting tennis players sweatbands in Båstad - charmed, I'm sure.

In actual fact, I've now been in Sweden for exactly 4 months, so heres some highlights.

1. The Potato Day in Båstad, no not an episode of Father Ted but the annual potato event in a small coastal village in sweden. Lots of potatoes, lots of swedes.
2. Watching tv a few weeks ago I stumbled across a variety show style program - part of this was an open mike spot. I saw possibly one of the saddest pieces of tv ever. An old wrinkled man came on to the stage clutching chains, a plate and a trumpet, he smashed said plate on his head (cutting himself quite badly in the process), then wrapped himself in the chains, and then attempted to do a handstand. This failed miserably, sending him sprawling across the stage whereupon he blew a single pitiful note on the trumpet before hobbling off stage. Odd.
3. The lanquage thing. Mistakes to date, saying loudly (in Swedish) 'I think I might have pissing icecream', 'I'll just go and fart', and numerous mistaken references to the past, future, and quite possibly the fourth dimension.
4. Th job. Pleased with this, and seem to be going well. I've managed to offend latvians by calling them lithuanians, and estonians by saying their conference was a summer school, but no major international incidents yet.
5. Accent (Language thing part II)-my accent seems to change on a daily basis as I attempt to learn the Swedish vowel sounds, sometimes I seem to sound like a strange american person other days simply like a muppet.

and theres probably more - rereading this list I realise these are not actually highlights (there are thankfully, more rich and rewarding events occuring)but I lack the stamina to go into details this evening. I'm off the Rhodes horribly early tommorow morning, I still have to make pancakes, pack, and get to bed. Speaking of which, a brand new bed which is blooming huge - IKEAS's flagship bed no less, fantastic. I assembled it today, an early attempt was aborted last night by the downstairs neighbour banging on the ceiling as I toiled away with a hammer, cursing those IKEA sweatshop workers with their nimble fingers and penchant for soft metal which breaks, folds, and threads. Last nights other highlight was an extremely hot curry, possibly one of the hottest I have ever consumed whose after shocks are still causing some tremors now.

be good y'all. Don't have sex with animals, make sure you wash your hands after using the toilet and never attempt home surgery.

Your husband has gone Mrs Brown, I am X1-11, the exterminator.