Slightly tired, still feeling a bit ill and more than a bit peeved. Yes, Skåne Flu seems to have afflicted me. Now I've always been told that you know that you've got flu if there was a fiver lying on the floor but you just felt too ill to get out of bed to get it, but this has never struck me as a good prognostic tool. For a start it does not seem particularly accurate, not discriminating between paraplegics or the dead, for example, nor does it seem to be index linked. I digress. I would have got out of bed for a fiver, and indeed, have not taken to my bed (though I do find it rather attractive) but have not indulged in any training for a week now and have dozed off on the sofa on several occasions - all signs that all is not well in my temple.

Add to this my parents coming over for the weekend and my mother being struck down by a massive bout of diarrhea - causing hospital visits at three in the morning and all kinds of mayhem - makes for for an interesting few days.

the blogging will return with full megawattage power soon - currently dealing with the crumblies, diarrhea (very hard to spell, had to look it up), sleeplessness and general grump.

more of the same, love the quote 'this is the first time that they have done anal bum together', the fact that these guys are qualified doctors is a little scary.....fitness to practice - home of the 'London Underground' song

!! MSNBC - Does Mars need women? Russians say no: "'After all, women are fragile and delicate creatures; that is why men should lead the way to distant planets and carry women there in their strong hands.'"

Just time to link to this, E has woken up.....London Underground : The Song

To the day, I have been in Sweden for one year. On this day, in 2004, sometime later this morning I boarded the National Express bus to Plymouth and took the journey to Stansted, a while later I touched down on Swedish soil and here I've stayed. Happy? Most definitely.

Musings on the Great Wind of 1882.
- A poem, in the modern style, by the Right Rev. Guthrie Tittwhistle.

Oh thunderous Blast, coursing down dark valleys and deep pools,
that whistled and shrieked on that tiresome journey from Hathersage.
Gathered in the carriage, my buttocks tight on the seat like knife edges,
I chattered to my lady companions, unheeding of the tradgedy to pass.

Oh grievous wind that you rattled against my straining gate,
and then, unheralded save for a noise like a babes breath,
discharged like silent cannon roar 'twixt by breeches and pants,
I had chance to cough to hide this assassin before the horror came.

It seemed the air grew in substance and my companions faces became ashen,
Lady Smithers gave a single folorn cry, like a bird on the wing,
before lapsing into a swoon which was unbroken until Clumply Edge,
Her maid, a crone of many years, but stifled a sudden rebellion from her gut.

But dear Louise, that one so young should suffer so,
from an old mans predilection for pickled sprouts and stale beer,
young, unplucked flower, that such a stench should addle your tender mind,
drooling, like an enfant, you collapsed, and were never of right mind again.

You great Satan! You foul spirit, ghost of digested sustenance,
pervader of gods house, that made me like a common savage to squat,
erupting foul emission from that which is most holy, I pray that heaven,
in all it's glory has supply of enameled or copper plated plugs for suppressive purpose.

The Rev. Tittwhistle was a village vicar of the 'old school', known for his poetry but also fine collection of soil and twigs. A keen naturist, he was frequently found naked in trees, reading the works of Pliny (the younger) and hunting snipe. He died at the age of 98, in an ill advised experiment involving a bag of stoats and a firework.

Except in Plymouth where I predict a wall to wall alcohol fueled bloodbath for the next few years....BBC NEWS | Politics | All-day drink licences available: "The government says more flexible hours will stop drinkers spilling onto the street at once and says few pubs will apply to remain open for 24 hours."

Okay, I'm a big fan of Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Christopher Walken so seeing a movie on the bottom shelf (alarm bells should have been ringing at this point) with all three actors in it was enough to send a little shiver of excitement down my aching back (I've been running up the beach with logs again) and let out a little bark of excitement (you can get away with much more in public in Sweden). Envy - Such was the quality of this movie that during the last half hour K was surfing the net whilst I was re-classifying my socks by colour - we couldn't quite bear to switch the movie off but even so......this was bad, sure it was not totally shit but it was close. Apparently it spent about two years post production in some kind of limbo and I can see why, how can you take all these talents, put them together in one movie (with a halfway decent idea) and come up with this pellet of poo? Never mind. School of Rock was still good, Dodge ball was excellent and Christopher W appears in my top ten of favourite movies of all time (Deerhunter) so all can be forgiven.

Movie I'd watch right now if it were on Tv: Goodfellas.
Irksome irritation: I keep thinking of things to write about during the day and then promptly forgetting about them later, the solution I feel, lies in a pencil and a piece of paper.
Absolutely cool book: The Timetravellers Wife, very very good - I've been thinking about it all day.
Music: Adagio for Strings, Barber.
Weather: Bracing and cold.
Accomplishment: Pocket parking, nice.
sweet...Intuitor Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics

Yeah, my continuing pillage of the comic book section of the local
biblioteket - this was fucking great. Totally insane and really nicely
drawn. I saw a review which said this was Terry Gilliam crossed
with Blade Runner which is not far off the truth.

Off to Båstad this morning so no activity until sunday or so. God my piles are blue bloody murder this morning, christ only knows whats brought the little bastards down but all my sniggering at Nobby Stiles in Viz does not seem funny at all. I think I'll take a cushion for the train. Ouch.
Båstad is very much one of exclusive places of Sweden, its the site of the Swedish Open (Tennis) and in the high summer very much the place to be seen. When the tennis is on the streets rumble to flash cars rolling up and down the main street, in a very unswedish show of wealth. In the winter, however, its as dead as as dead place after a plague and -alas-most of the coffee shops/bars are closed. Save one, which does nice cakes.

On my bedside table: Peter F Hamilton - Pandoras Star, Ian M Banks - The Algabraist, Stephen W Hawkins - A brief history of time, Jack Finney - Time and Again (Fantasy Masterworks series), Enki Bilal - Nikopol Trilogy (Comic book), Audrey Niffennegger - The Time Travellers Wife.
Stuff I should be doing: sorting out the new newsletter format, don't worry I'm on it.
weather:+2, blueish skies
Site: Great stuff, my quest to find the paperclip museum continues but I found this trove on the way...World of Napkins
TV: While I was doing pull ups last night I watched Worlds Wildest Police Videos, incredibly sick but sort of compelling. The freak who narrates it is more terrifying than any of the snuff they show in the name of 'education', with his gleaming white teeth and plastic hair he says things like 'high on crack and alcohol, this driver was only going one way - straight to jail', believe me, it does not get much better than that.
Strange coincindence: Robert Winston - New show on sleep on BBC, Robert Winston - recently arrested for horse race fixing. Odd.

Very odd. BBC NEWS | World | Middle East | US hostage photo 'is doll hoax': " photograph of what Islamic militants claim is a captive US soldier may have been posed with a toy figure, an army doll manufacturer has said."

SKY LIGHT II

I woke up feeling like someone had been testing bombs deep within the softer parts of my brain. My passage from unconsiousness to something approximating wakefulness was accompanied by a gradual awareness of the pain which was emanating from, not just my head, but most of my body. I gingerly sat up, the movement causing the sepia coloured room to shift horribly around me. My teeth felt like lumps of bakerlite and my tongue a twisted piece of beef jerky. I was slumped on my bed, still dressed (though I noticed my best trousers now had a long blood crusted tear across the left knee) and missing one boot. It was, without doubt, one of the worst hangovers of my life. As my gaze floated around the small bedsit I realised I was not alone. In the corner, beside the oven and dirty white cupboards, sat the massive brooding shape of a fully mature silver back gorilla. He was wearing a small black bowler hat, and smoking a fat cigar; the smoke from which he was watching as it drifted up to the ceiling. He studiously ignored me, and I was on the point of doing the same when I remembered why I had been drinking so hard and freaked out for short while.

I came back to the real, alcohol poisoned world, to find myself sitting opposite the gorilla beside the one dirty window of the room. A filthy rain had been blown in from the sea sometime in the day and the oily traces it had left gave the setting sun a foul piss coloured taint. Far away, past the megascrapers which marked the edge of the city, the cargo ships which moved up the colossal shape of the space elevator at super sonic speed were stitching white lines across the sick, tired sunset. The solar bombs which the Stort Hanth had detonated 12 years ago were still working, the suns surface marred by a black cancer as the electromagnetic forces within it started to slowly tear out its nuclear heart. The gorilla had been sursprisingly gentle, putting the cleanest, which was'nt saying much, towel it could find around my cold shoulders and making me a cup of blueberry tea. It apologised profusely for having drank the last of my coffee, the herbal tea only serving to make my headache worse.

"Your employees offer their deepest condolences" it finally said, its voice gruff, with a slight Lancashire accent. Of course, the Naked Monks would be quick to make sure that Leleths death would not stop me in my tracks, losing them all the months of my work, and their money, which had gone into the 'project'. I bitterly realised, through a shroud of numbed shock and grief which was only hours old that now the project was all the more important to me. Now it was personal.

.......aaah fuck, I don't know...it just falls out of my head, the writing equiv. of a doodle-you don't have to read it do you? Just finished watching equilibrium, with Christian Bale, bloody excellent. Bodes well for the new Batman movie. doodle pip.

uurgggh.

'When 'a was naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife' - Henry IV, Part II.

I was followed down the street today by a group of tiny sinister men who hacked at my heels, ineffectually for the most part, with small swords and axes. They were dressed in long dirty coats and dark green stetsons from beneath whose filthy brims their red eyes gleamed fiercely. They picked up my trail on the way back from the shops. I had walked hurriedly past, where they had been gathered around a dead cat, poking it with their blunted, pitted weopons. As I past the little gaggle they had looked up at me, and I had turned my gaze quickly away, staring with apparent, but feigned interest, at the butchers ship opposite. Where torsos hung, headless and legless, in the window. I had only walked a few steps when I became aware of the curious looks that salarymen and washerpeople where casting in my direction. I looked behind and saw that the little group of men were now skipping after me, the metal segs on their boots throwing sparks from the pavement as they pursued me. I increased my speed but they kept pace with me, and I was laden by my purchase of cogs and anchorchains. When I neared the leafy silence of my street they suddenly attacked, slicing at my felt and leather shoes with their tiny weopons. Only one blow did any any real damage, a lucky strike slicing into a corn on my middle foot, otherwise I was unhurt.

So now I lie in my cradle, its gurning lines and joy harness untouched, as I listen to the little people tapping to the window and scrabbling at the flue, seeking an ingress. Seeking a way in.

Its not often you get to say 'Horny Bush' but heres the devil himself saluting his fellow death metal fans.....yeah, its old news but its still funny. 

I'd love to blog in excess this evening as K is out and E is fast asleep in the sofa (never fear, theres milk defrosting in the fridge) but I feel somewhat tired.....had a good workout earlier, lots of slapping on the finger board, nice. Pleasent walk in Malmö earlier, saw a great crested grebe in the canal, looking thoughtful. We're contemplating the whole moving thing at the minute, currently waying up the delights of buying a farm with land (sounds very grand but its real cheap to buy a lot here, but the downside is having fascists as neighbours), moving into a larger flat in town or a house in the 'burbs. All very exciting, the flat is getting valued on monday so we'll see......must dash, hunger.


music: Ned Sherrin, twat, but hes going to be interviewing Patrick Stuart.
weather: -5, blue skies.
last movie: Dawn of the Dead, bloody excellent and quite scary. Worth viewing just for the start, where we see a housing estate going to hell (some great aerial shots) before we get back to familiar ground of the mall. So, DotD gets a worthy 7 out of 10 - it would get more but theres just too much of 'why the fuck would you do that?' in the script (even for someone like me, who suspends belief on a regular basis). Excellent soundtrack by the way, and if you watch the directors cut dvd you get more gore and character development and some quite amusing, though a little amateur, short movies - I liked the one about Andy the gunshop owner, cool.
Speaking of movies, I notice, that Alone in the Dark' is coming out and Aliens of the Deep'-looks good.
site: So in a great celebration of geekness and general fanboy activity, ladies and gentlemen the greatest Britons 2004 included Tim Berners-Lee (inventor of the WWW) and Phillip Pullman, author of His Dark Materials. BBC NEWS UK Web inventor is 'Greatest Briton'

Bloody knackered, up early this morning posting to the work website and then into C'hagen for a meeting. I was under the impression we had a drinks party afterwards but was, to my relief, found to be mistaken. Everytime I go drinking in Denmark it ends in disaster, with me getting so drunk I almost shit myself - really. Thus, quite a relief to be going home in the early afternoon feeling quite sober.

Slow as usual but I found out about this cool google search term which is, in effect, a hack into live feed video cams - I did not experiment too much but try inurl:"ViewerFrame?Mode=" as a search term and you'll get loads of cameras coming up which can be accessed through the net, I expect by now that most people will have put in a blocker against this....incidently the inurl term allows you to search for a text string in the url's in googles index. hours of geek fun.

Weather: Dark
Bad news: apparently global warming will reach the point of no return in about ten years...we're one degree away from a 'danger threshold', nice.
music: the sweet hum of the 3 fans in our pcs cab

good night, sweet dreams.

whats really cool about this is that they watch it all the way to the end, and so quintessentially british about is that they 'settled down with a cup of tea', brilliant....presumably this story provoked lots of lonely old men to go hunting through similar bargin bins of DVDs BBC NEWS | England | Somerset | Sex movie mix-up shocks couple

cool or what, if you read the whole article it turns out Arthur Dent (Dent, as in the late DentArthurDent - its meant to be threatening, but I'm not very good at that kind of thing) already has an asteroid...TheStar.com - Hitching a celestial ride: "And there, orbiting between Mars and Jupiter 358 million kilometres from the sun, was the perfect rock � already designated as 2001-DA42. That's the year of Adams' death; his initials; and 42 ... revealed in his books as the answer to 'the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.' No one ever did figure out what the Ultimate Question was."

and why not...elgooG

So Ks off to Växjö for the night with E in tow - its rather wierd, and a little lonely, not having them around but part of me is thinking purely of self indulgence. So, pull ups and then a video I think - which may involve facing my fear and getting zombie related nonsence out from the store. Tommorow should be interesting, I'm off to Copenhagen for a meeting of the Nordic council...I managed to blag a place for myself which is cool, thing is - because its the Nordic council it means the lanquage will be (not surprisingly) Danish, Swedish, Norwegian and Finnish - not a hint of English. The theme of the meeting is biotech so hopefully the presentations will be in powerpoint, as my reading in Swedish is better than my listening.

music: Love and Rockets, Alive
weather: -1, a chill lazy wind
purchase: a nice sensible grown up coat

birdwatching blog from a US soldier in IraqBirding Babylon

The ship tumbled out of the wormhole like a dying animal. Its white, brick like, shape was studded with glowing craters from the broadside of fusion torpedoes it had endured from the recent conflict. The wormhole had spat it out in a lonely piece of forgotten space, well away from the galactic hub and the vicously fought over shipping lanes. A single solitary planet turned in front of the ships blunt and battered bow, the cold light of a dying dwarf star illuminating the scene. As the 600 metre length of the ship slipped away from the wormhole terminus, which had already begun to close, its uncontrolled spin began to improve. Jets of internal atmosphere spouted where its hull had been punctured and arcs of electricity silently leapt across the remains of its hard light drive. The ship still towed the tattered remains of its sensory array, the two kilometer long tensile strands of carbon now tangled and useless.

As the ship drifted towards the planet the running lights on its starboard hull flickered and then went out. Navigation lights on its forward arrays continued to blink quietly but there was no other outward sign that the ship was still alive. The short, but fierce conflict the ship had endured had also taken its toll on its human crew. Heavy metal virus bolts had been fired into the punctured hull. When the superheated metal had impacted into the ships bulkheads the viral load it carried had been injected through the metal and into the still habitable portions of the ship. Skin mange, once thought irradicated hundreds of years ago had spread rapidly through the ship, airborne and silent, killing slowly and with deliberate, genetically engineered, malice.

On the bridge, deep within the ships central core, there was almost no activity now. The frenetic minutes of the ambush, the struggle to activate the damaged hard light drive as the crew began to choke on their own blood, and the nausea of unscheduled faster than light transit was over now. Most of the bridge crew were dead, drifting gently at their posts as lights flickered and died in the cramped spherical enclosure. What had been a cosy haven of quiet control and efficiency was now a slaughter house. Globules of blood floated in the air, and eddies of smoke drifted randomly in the zero G environment. In the centre the captain slumped in his command seat, emergency medical equipment strapped to his dying body. Such was the level of medication pumped into his body that he did not recognise the scabbed bloody hands which still, automatically, authorised commands and procedures. Prerecorded messages echoed around the silent ship, the soft voice of the tannoy filling the lifeless corridors and rooms. He took over helm control, calling up a schematic of the remaining online thrusters, and eased the ship back into a steadier flight path. Using all his experience, and with a little help from the ships half mad AI, he layed in a course which would deliver the ship into a centuries stable orbit around the planet. This last effort exhaused both him and the ship, and as he slumped deeper into his seat the lights on the bridge failed entirely. He fumbled in his flight suit pocket, his slick fingers finding a small sheet of battered plastic which he clutched for a while, before it escaped his limp hands and drifted into the dark.

The photograph, of a man, a woman and their children, drifted into the centre of the silent bridge where it hung, motionless.

Just back from a weekend at the summer house, very lovely and made all the more exciting by a sudden blizzard this afternoon. I guess about 10 cms of snow had fallen in the few hours before we left to go back to Malmö. The weekend involved plenty of eating, drinking and log running on the beach. Our chums R & K came up from Malmö on the weekend on the saturday, which was really cool - we had lots of plans for sunday but curtailed by the snow storm meant we bravely bought lunch and ate, under extreme comfort conditions, for several hours - extremely hard.

I'm actually knackered, as I worked out at the Rocky Gym on friday, had a good hill run on saturday (a rarity as Malmö being very flat means little thigh busting activity - if you know what I mean) and then, when I thought it was safe to do bugger all, accompanied K on a run down to the Rocky Gym and then onto the beach for a spot of log running. Which involves picking a nice heavy piece of drift wood and then running up the beach with the log held, on straight arms, above your head. For the first 5 metres you feel fine, the next 20 your arms feel like falling off, for the last 5 they do, slowly with lots of pain. Which was nice.

Music: None, though I tested the new monitors speakers with a little bit of Morcheeba.
Weather: Snowing.
Surreality: Outside, at the summer house, hearing a strange creaking noise from above me. When I looked up I saw two swans flying gracefully through the snow. Very beautiful.
Inconsequential comment: The shadow of his carrot.

A gay icon, yesterday - unavailable for comment, to busy brainwashing and manipulating. 

Ahh yes, those cunning homosexuals, plotting to take over the world and turn us all gay...rather than the Red Brigade, here come the chintz brigade....BBC NEWS World Americas US right attacks SpongeBob video: "But conservatives say it sees the video as a cunning attempt to promote homosexuality. "

let me see now, top 10 science fiction movie moments of all time (for me, now and almost certainly to be different on any other day), this actually started as 5, made it to 8 without any bother and then ended nicely at 10.

1. The wierd hotel room scene at the end of 2001 - totally freaked me out the first time I saw it (in fact, made me flee upstairs to hide - I was about 10 incidently).

2. Lukes fight with Darth Vader, having just discovered that the Dark Lord of the Sith is in fact his dad, the plunge down the shaft and then the hanging off the antenna before being rescued by the Millenium Falcon. This was immense when I was kid, as this was the first of the Star Wars movies I saw at the cinema 'Vader's his father, but, but, but.....'. Nothing would ever be the same again.

3. The dojo scene in the first matrix movie. I know the shoot out in the office lobby and the fight between Neo and Agent Smith are both remarkable but the dojo training scene was just so good, classic lines ('do you think that's air you're breathing, hmmm), great moves and choreography.

4. The last scene of Silent Running, fantastic early '70s movie with a strong environmental message. The image, of the remaining drone tending the trees and plants as the ship drifts into space is remarkable.

5. Blade Runner - c'mon the end is just one of greatest cinematic moments of all time. Rutger Hauer improvising his Dutch ass off to come up with inspired lines 'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die'...fucking great.

6. Alien - My abiding memory of this movie is not, surprisingly the chest burster scene, but rather the opening shot of the computers chatting away with each other in the deserted bridge, the noise of the text as it flowed across the screen and then the nicely edited shot of the crew waking up - fucking great. Like Bladerunner a movie which has not aged significantly.

7. Terminator 2. The last punch up between the terminators, totally brutal and very industrial.

8. The Day the Earth Caught Fire - '60s movie where the chance occurrence of two nuclear tests throws the Earth towards the sun. The fantastically sweaty and a splendid cliffhanger ending - please please hide this film from a reimagining - caught me my surprise when I first saw it. Actually I think I mentioned this in a earlier entry, something about Janet Munroe and her breasts I think.

9. Pitch Black - the scene where the guys light illuminates the circle of monsters surrounding him. Choice.

10. They Live - simply for the line "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum". Which incidently was, like the scene from Bladerunner, improvised.

Considered: Close Encounters of the Third Kind, ET, Abyss, Predator, The Thing, Planet of the Apes, Bad Taste, Mad Max, and more......

Music: Tom Waits, Kill Bill 1 Soundtrack and Morcheeba
Water: Its wet and composed of hydrogen and oxygen
Funny old thing: When I was looking for stuff on Blade Runner I actually typed in 'Bladder Runner', which I guess would be a movie about incontinence

presumably the swearing in was something like 'oh fuck, not you again' BBC NEWS | World | Americas | Bush is sworn in for second term

So it occurs to me that I have not given any hint of my life in Sweden for a while, rather concentrating on more obscure stuff. Well, I'am currently working something between 50-60% of the time, which suits me just fine but I'm finding my way into two contracts which would be most excellent - trade mission stuff to the UK and drug development, very good. The spare time I have is spent with E and K, which is time very well spent - the boy seems to change every day.

We've had a few people around for dinner recently, which was nice.

Cool now there's an archive of all the images....if you look closely you can see happy Titanians waving. ESA - Cassini-Huygens

I was reading about something similar yesterday, where the article gave an example of a mans naked torso being pixillated out of a US news story to avoid giving offence. Perhaps he was very hirsute. Or something. BBC NEWS | Entertainment | TV and Radio | US TV cuts nudity from BBC film

"Was many years ago that I left home and came this way
I was a young man full of hopes and dreams
But now it seems that all is lost and nothing gained
Sometimes things ain’t what they seem
No brave new world no brave new world"

(Stranger in a Strange Land, Iron Maiden)

irony - or perhaps just nostalgia? in fact definitely nostalgia as having just refreshed myself with the lyrics I realise the songs bloody depressing.

hoorah, and it was a Swede that saved the day....Spacecraft operations Portal - Home - Modest hero sparks team response

The surface of Titan.....fantastic. And this is the European Space Agency remember. 

At first glance this looks like any old dinosaur museum but dig deeper....yes, its another manifestation of Johns pet gripe the good old creation theory. This contender for the church of the weird is the belief that mankind and dinosaurs shared the Earth at the same time, how can this be? - I hear you ask. Now listen, I'm trying to be more tolerant in my old age, so stop sniggering and read about how juvenile dinosaurs were squeezed onto the ark.....Museum of Earth History

(Incidently, I found out about this from The Economist, my obsession has not reached the point of actually looking for this stuff. Much.)

see! 

Awesome, surely the inspiration for Mulligan and O'hare 

Disturbing....Telegraph | News | Spurned woman tore off lover's testicle:

"Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ."

One of the many things that Bruce Lee gave us (amongst such gems as slow motion gurning after dispatching a victim and making a whole generation of kids obsessed with learning how to use rice flails) was the famous '1 inch punch'. In metric, of course, the slightly less impressive 2.54 cm punch. I was thinking about this yesterday and it occurred to me that the logic behind the 1 inch punch is totally flawed. Yes its impressive, barely moving the fist but at the same time unleashing a crushing blow. But it seems to me that the 1 inch punch has the fatal error that you need to be 1 inch (or 25.4 mms) from the intended recipient. This pretty much removes any element of surprise (as you casually walk up to the victim and hover your hand in front of them) and it also places you in a somewhat awkard position if the blow does not live up to expectations (indeed, becomes the 1 inch tap, or the 1 inch nudge). It would have been much better to invent the 10 foot punch (3.04 ms) or indeed the half mile punch (0.8 km). This would have thus become a rather surprising attack, and would remove much of the danger to the practitioner. And people say I need to get out more.

Quote - 'you're about as useful as a cock flavoured lollypop' Patches O'houlilhan.
Last movie - DodgeBall (see above), very very funny. hence 7.5 out of 10.
currently striving to - increase my chaps lung capacity in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
weather - 10 +, blue skies.

Harry - twat! And why are we surprised? BBC NEWS | UK | Harry urged to say sorry publicly after attending a party wearing his normal clothes

BBC NEWS | Politics | 'Poll Idols' face first hurdles:

"Irfan Hanif, a 25-year-old doctor from Bolton, made a good impression, even if he was a little thrown by Mr MacKenzie's suggestion that instead of being treated by the NHS, young drunks should 'given a good beating' and left to die. "

....which is not really surprising.

oh my giddy aunt.....BBC NEWS | Politics | 'Poll Idols' face first hurdles

Back from the driving lesson, a mixture of excitement and terror. Its not actually that bad, but does sometimes get a little confusing as we use a mixture of both Swedish and English. One thing though, which is fun, is that my instructor sometimes corrects my lane position by pulling on the wheel himself-all well and good. However, on a few occasions now there has been a car or a bicycle in the blind spot -which he has not seen - and so I resist his attempts to move the car into, or on top of, these fellow road users. This results in us both wrestling the steering wheel for a few seconds, as we both attempt to steer the car - most amusing. More wierdly, this takes place in silence, except for our grunts as we fight the others strength.

Just a quickie.I'm off to the driving school this morning, picking up where I left off after 2 months of Elias orientated activity. Sweden has been hit hard by the storms and the amount of felled trees and damage means that some places are going to be without electricity for weeks. Here, in the big smoke, the only affect was that our broadband pipe dropped out for a few hours - this I could deal with.


recent purchases: Tom Waits CD, Smiths CD (which finally made me realise that the lyrics to 'I am the Sun and the air' are actually 'I am the son and the heir', which makes sense if you listen to the rest of the lyrics.
weather: 9+, far too warm for this time of year.
current struggle: finding the inspiration to be creative outside of nappy changing, sleep deprivation, basking in the love of my child, being a sambo (not a highly racist black charactiture but the Swedish name for living together), training, eating, and avoiding the government narcs.

At some point I intend to look more closely at the whole issue of reality shows (Sweden has more than its fair share) but what made me chuckle about this article is half way down, where it says what Greer said about her house mates, 'Bez - Huge capacity for Happiness' and Brigitte Nielsen ' Like a cat with an electrode up its arse'. Splendid. BBC NEWS Entertainment TV and Radio Greer attacks 'bully' Big Brother

Nice thought, I'll try and hunt down the whole list and see where other places lie...which for example is the most despondent place to live? IOL: Ireland ranked fourth in World Database of Happiness

bloody hell, last time I checked the current bid it was 20 000 plus dollars ! eBay item 5947720145 (Ends Jan-13-05 21:21:45 PST) - *ADVERTISE YOUR LOGO OR WEBSITE DOMAIN ON MY FOREHEAD!*

Newspapers are held together with staples here - its not normal I tells ya.



yeah well not surprising really, as the backlash to his last movie helped elect the monkey again. Incidently, as the monkey does not have to worry about reelection this will either be the term of more tolerance or more extremism (as he thanks the far right for their support)...BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Film | Surprise win for anti-Bush film

Throw off the nice comforting blanket which was the weekend, stagger out of bed and find yourself (confused) in work with the realisation thats its monday. In the northern climate its dark, cold and chilly....my duvet nest was hard to leave this morning.

Managed to get out rollerblading last night, after the previous days aborted run (this was due to the storm which battered Malmö, I'd only been out for 20 minutes before K phoned me and pointed out that there was a curfew in place - the falling trees and tiles smashing on the ground had somehow not registered with me), which was nice. My new project - which occured to me last night - is to rollerblade to Lund, which is a distance of some 25 kilometers - should be fun, it is all on the flat though.

last movie seen: Zatoichi, bloody excellent Japanese movie with 'Beat' Takeshi, very very cool. Though the CGI gore is a little bad (and not in a good way). Zatoichi
quote: "I once punched a guy out for saying that 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish." - Spaced (1999)
Blatently stolen idea: Innovative triple bill movie titles e.g. Sleeper, Slacker, and Slither. Blow, Blow Up, and Blow Out. Candy, Mandy and Ghandhi. When Harry met Sally, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice and Hannah and her Sisters.
Last nightmare: Defending a bungalow from zombies.

45 000 people complained about the Springer Opera which is quite amazing, usually when theres complaints its about 40 or 50. I',m quite impressed by a total of 8 000 obscenities.....BBC NEWS | Entertainment | TV and Radio | Springer opera draws 1.7m viewers

as the man says 'nuff said.....ChavTowns - Plymouth (Chav heaven + How to be a chav)

in an idle moment of looking for serious biotech issues I stumbled across this (yeah, right), probably very offensive but of the zeitgeist don't you think..incidently, there does not seem to be so much of a chav culture in Sweden. But theres definitely a lot of mullets in the country. ChavScum

just a quick addendum, this is very good......Random Acts Of Reality :: Main Page

Been awake a lot, and need to work from home this morning. Head very fluffy. Expect more soon though there have been few adventures in the last 48 hours other than dry poo (which sets into a concrete like substance), and....well actually thats it.

weather: its still dark, though my early morning foray to the Tvätt Stuger was in warm enough conditions. To explain, a Tvätt Stuger is a washing room. Our block of apartments, like most Swedish ones, has washing machines and driers for resident use. This is quite cool, as it means our kitchen is not packed with sinister white goods and we get the use of industrial washing machines and driers. The down side is that the Tvätt Stuger is a good source of conflict, with double bookings and illegal use (by people who have not written their booking down in the booking book!) causing much angst and gnashing of teeth.
music: the strange noises E, my child, makes
book: still Peter F Hamilton though I will soon return to Banks' new book
random thought: the subtitle of Under Seige 2 was 'Dark Territory' which in my sleep deprived mind somehow makes me chuckle


and now you understand why I don't talk about work much.....the Random Acts of Reality and The Policemans' Blog could be worth a squint BBC NEWS | Technology | Looming pitfalls of work blogs

Continuing my theme of surveying odd character names in movies I was checking out Christopher Lamberts resume, which sadly has no great chuckle worthy names. Yeah, we've got John Prudhomme (Resurrection), Gideon Oliver Dobbs (Gideon) and Russel Nash (Highlander) but nothing yet matching the brilliance of Casey rybeck. But, I noticed the sub-title of Fortress 2 (where he played John Henry Brennick) was Re-entry....this makes me smirk, a lot. Makes me also consider Fortress 2: Forced entry starring Ben Dover.

Incidently, I notice from Empire magazine that Bill Paxton (of which one of the coolest lines ever was directed at, to wit, 'Hudson, we are leaving') was killed by the Terminator (in Terminator, playing 'Punk Leader), an alien (well, more than one if you want to be accurate, playing Private Hudson in Aliens) and a predator (in Predator 2, playing Jerry Lambert). How cool is that!
However, I must add myself that Jenette Goldstein comes close by being finished off by aliens (as Private Vasquez in Aliens 2, though technically she blew herself up) and being terminated (admitedly by a T-1000, where Bill was finished off by the rather less cool but more reliable T-800 Model 101) in Terminator 2 (as Jennette Goldstein). We could go on, Michael Biehn having been wasted by Terminators and Aliens as well but this is turning into something like a Kevin Bacon game so I'll stop.

Picture the scene. A week before christmas, myself and K are at R & C's house for a glögg (see below) party and just as we're leaving F, a friend of C's, says 'would you like to go canoeing after xmas'. 'Yeah' says I 'Sounds good'. 'Well actually' says F 'When I said canoeing I really meant dragon boat racing'. okay.....

So thats the reason why on tuesday night I found myself sharing a dragon boat with 19 other folks paddling like crazy up and down the canals which wend around down town Malmö. In the dark. In the cold. As a novice, as the other two guys were, I figured it would be pretty laid back - no such luck. We battled out of the boat house landing area and then thundered up the canal, by shoulders already starting to ache and my buttocks clenching madly in an attempt to stay upright on the thin wooden plank which was laughingly called a seat. 'And now the fartlek training'. Shit, I realised - that was just the warm-up. Fartleks, titter ye not, are (for those not used to training until vomiting) is changes in speed over a set period of time, repeated. Nackering. After doing that, for about half an hour, we changed sides (otherwise you end up looking like a fiddler crab or a very frustrated submariner) and did it all over again. In the dark. In the cold. With warm dry people shouting and cheering from the canal banks. And then the racing starts, and then a sprint over 200 metres. Lots of splashing, lots of fun. Fortunately the guy infront of me had a good team spirit and did not object to me cracking his knuckles as I wielded my paddle like a broad sword. Thus, sore muscles and tired ass (all the clenching).

Its a red day (bank holiday) tommorow - nice.

music: none.
weather: wet, windy and above zero
food: christmas porridge
christmas decorations: gone



Glögg

Muscles in shoulders aching, back slightly sore - yes, I've been dragon-boat racing (or training at least), I'll explain more later.

comparisons again between Sweden and the UK, this time in the freedom of information. I was not actually aware of this - that government info is more freely available hereBBC NEWS | Magazine | So you want to see the PM's memos?

fantastic news site, swedish news in English and finding this site made me realise that my longing for news came not only from the UK but also a desire to find out whats happening here (not always easy as newspeak is usually fast and littered with idioms). Anyway, heres a sampler of the news from Sweden...Robot attacks man's buttocks in Swedish factory....in a more tabloid newspaper you can imagine the title perhaps being ' robot rage attack on mans' buttocks' or 'Terminated - one car workers bloody end'

test 

Messing about with the blog

After being rather passive about the whole blog thing, really just scratching the surface of what I can do here, I felt some time with the blogger website would be interesting...thus, templete changes etc....more to come. the whole blogging thing is incredible, check out the rich variety by clicking on 'next blog' on the bar upstairs. disturbed alcoholics from russia one click away.

I reloaded the 'hello' software which means i can post photos again - which is nice. last time this ate our pc, remains to be seen if the same thing happens again.

you'll notice the change in format, i got tired of the light house.

typing one handed - baby in arms.

As the toll to sweden of the tsunami continues to rise, something like 3000 swedes are still missing, you've got to wonder at the incompetence of the foreign office here which said (within days of the disaster) that all swedish tourists had been accounted for.

swedish gripe: cash machines in sweden seem to be horribly unreliable. this morning, on a quest for coffee, i was forced to scamper from one side of the square to the other looking for a functioning machine. this is not the first time. raaahhh, annoying.
recent consumerism: winners and sinners 2 (j.chan movie) and the english patient
weather: 4+, blue skies






very exciting this.....horahh for the european space agency BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Huygens probe course 'looks good'

2005. Back in Malmö after 10 days at the summer house. Having no tv, or very little, was a real blessing but we nevertheless found ourselves being sucked into watching the unfolding nightmare in Asia. Terrible.

recent thoughts: Da Vinci Code, being made into a film with Tom Hanks. We'll come back to this.
recent movie: Extended version of King Arthur, 5.5 out of 10, I think, though the juries still out. What killed it for me was Clive Owen being acted off the screen by Ray Winstone, most of the other actors, trees, horses, and just about everything else which appeared in the frame with him.
book: more Malazan action but also Peter F Hamiltons Pandoras Star. Also The Adventure of English by Melvyn Bragg.

at some point soon I'll be setting up another blog which will have the first few chapters of my horribly derivative fantasy novel. You have been warned. Working title is 'Struggle Below - one mans battle with prunes'.


any film which has zombies and the line 'any of you cunts want a drink?' is a winner......brilliance, haven't looked around this site much but sure to be amusing...Shaun of the Dead

Top Tip: If your car battery goes flat (which you only realise when it has been packed with Christmas presents, pram, baby and assorted baby equipment (including pram, lift, clothes, stun gun)), call a taxi company who will charge you 100 SEK to jump start your car...cool.

pork chops, brie and cashew nuts are all food stuffs which have a slightly sinister aspect to them. Mince (lamb or beef), cheddar, and grapes are all foods which seem quite jolly. Kiwi fruit, lockets (cough sweets with a foul vomit inducing centre), and meringue are all clearly quite mad.

interesting. We're preparing for the exodus to the summer house so unless I can hijack a wireless network there will be no blogging for the Jule period. Peace on Earth, seasons greeting etc etc.

recently watched movie: I indulged myself yesterday and bought two DVDs from the super low price display at Hemköp, Highlander and the Big Blue. Highlander, top movie, but its suddenly looking old - also, Christophe Lambert is difficult to take seriously any more. The last movie I saw with him was Druids, where he played (I think) Vercingetorix. Actually not true, I saw him in something more appalling but my brain has excised all recollection of the movies name. It involved jungles, and monkeys (and it was not greystoke).
weather: fucking cold, theres a storm coming.
music: radio 4
book: still slaughtering my way across Genebackis with the Malazan empire.
No link

its early, a night of broken sleep and strange dreams (Mr Sandman is depositing his load nightly now, rather than a sprinkel, I wake up with a bed full of gravel, or night soil as its known). Last day at work before the Christmas break which means, yet again, silence here as we run for the North and disappear until new year - alone, in the summer house with only thick fantasy novels and the playstation for company - and the laptop, aiming to write a short story by the end of the holiday, something inspired either by Erikson (expect lots of loving descriptions of 'blood spattered armour') or crap detective thriller (expect noirish 'the rain ran down the window as he looked out onto the dark, lonely streets').

things making life easier: the video shop has installed key pads to enter your personal number so I don't have to struggle with '7' anymore, with occurs in my personal number no less than 3 times and, with my accent, can sometimes give people the mistaken impression I was born in 1921. In explanation, (for those of you who don't live in Big Brother countries (in the Orwellian rather than the furtive sex under duvets on prime time sense)) the first six digits of your number are simply your birthday, the last four the unique part.
music: none, way to early
weather: its dark, 4 degrees
film: Shaun of the Dead. Bloody excellent. I waited long enough to see this, but in my defence I don't think it got released in Sweden for much more than 10 minutes. The last zombie movie I saw was 28 Days Later (thats the title, not some strange temporal comment) which scared the hell of me, the last comedy I saw was well, I'd love to say Dodge Ball or something else which shows I'm up with the Zeitgeist but I have not seen a new comedy for ages. Anyhoo, Shaun of the Dead was very very funny and K, who has not seen any Zombie movies, thought it was excellent. I guess a good chunk of the humour comes from an appreciation of 'spaced' but also the fact that this was set in the UK - Crouch end rather than LA, thank you! It was scary in places too. Factoid, Simon Pegg will play a Zombie in Romeros new movie, Film Threat - Reviews, will apparently features humans holed up in a walled city protecting themselves against the dead (so we've had Shopping Malls, Pubs, Mansions, Farm Houses and now walled cities - whats left, entire planets? hmmmmm). Finally, this would be a really good time to revisit Bad Taste by Peter 'Look at my Ring' Jackson and see if its still funny, given that the last time I saw it was over 12 years ago. Last factoid, the new movie from Pegg and Wright will be called 'Hot Fuzz', I kid you not.




looks pretty cool, probably a lot better than the spotty wizard and a good hold over until His Dark Materials turns up....inspired me to go and read the books as well.....Film Threat - Reviews

The comment about Dead Poets Society obviously needs to be taken in context. Clearly any film with Robin Williams in is a pile of pants.

I started watching the Astronauts Wife last night (the movie, before you think I've become 'my name is Michael Caine, and I am a nosy neighbout') but gave up about half way through when I realised that 1. I was very tired and 2. This was in fact a cheap rip off of Rosemarys Baby - possibly one of the best horror movies ever made. I'd also already watched Mona Lisas smile, not by choice I hasten to add as Ks friend K brought it around (also with toffees and icecream so it was not all bad) but even so, such excriating pointless shite. The film started only in that it obeyed the laws of physics and went from a state of not beginning to beginning, after that it ceased to have a middle or indeed any form of ending other than, after the passage of time, it stopped. This was a truly terrible film with any messsage about the emancipation of women or challenging the establishment lost in a slush of weak script, tired cliches and too much acting. Dead Poets Society is far superior. Fortunately I'd watched Conan the barbarien the previous day so happily fantasied about combining the two films. This culminated in Arnold hacking off Julie Roberts head (rather than James Earl Jones) in front of the assembled cast of all the St Trinians films. Splendid.

holy vesicle bioreactors radioactiveman! BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | 'Artificial life' comes step closer

this just creeps through the news rather than instigating the debate which it hints at.....having lived for almost a year now in a country with a very different attitude to alcohol I do sometimes wonder if we drink a bit too much in the UK....BBC NEWS | Wales | Mobile hospitals to treat drunks

So after a few nights of battling sleeplessness I retreated to the sofa last night...six hours of sleep, the most I've had in weeks and sufficient to let the creative juices flow at work today, all going very well and it looks like my contract is being extended throughout next year, very very good news.

music: none
book: Deadhouse Gates, a Malazan tale of the fallen. Speaking of books I've put down Banks new book after a few chapters and feel unwilling to pick it back up, I'm sure I will but it has not gripped me in the way his other SF did. Sadly, I almost feel like he's trying to hard.
weather: damp, dank and daylight is in short supply
top tip: rather than using a knife, use scissors to divide a pizza - much less mess and you can pretend to be a surgeon.



repeat after me, this is not funny....this is not funnyBBC NEWS | Scotland | Krankie hurt in beanstalk tumble..I expect there will be some terrible end to this which will make me feel stricken with guilt but right now just keep repeating...this is not funny

Its Skåne, its december and as a result its cold and overcast. After 5 weeks of hospital, then a further two of NeoNatal we have been firmly at home - as nuclear family (whatever the hell that is) for the last few week or so. I return to work tommorow, not something which totally fills me with joy - given the extreme cosy factor I've been enjoying but still, we can't live on air.

As a result of the broken sleep my mind is feeling rather cabbaged and I wander around being a little 'punchy' (as in punch drunk rather than violent). My various projects continue at different states of activity, the quest to build my own PC continues with a loose idea of specifications and the spring campaign of bouldering is being gradually built up to by feet off training on the fingerboard. The sit up regime begins again on monday (which, in the words of Mr T in rocky II will lead only to 'Pain') and my copious mental and scribbled notes for a novel will begin to take some concrete form. Speaking of books I see that Pullman has written two new kids stories, should be worth checking out (you can probably visit his site ....here). I noticed, on the bbc site, that they are removing direct references to god from the forthcoming film, as there was a concern it would offend. The film makers actually stated that this was a result of stronger, more religious beliefs in the US .....God botherers.



weather: overcast and 5 degrees
music: none
book: Deadhouse Gates: A Malazan Tale of the Fallen (again!)
Thought: Just counting for Elias, we will use approximately 10 000 nappies in the next 3 years - if we have another child soon this figure will, of course, double. Nice to know that we are creating a rich vein of shit for some future civillisation of scatophillics to mine.


always worth a look....NASA - Home

this is priceless, the more ignorant racists get showered in 'slurry' the better...BBC NEWS | UK | Kilroy-Silk attacked with slurry

and so shaking off the dust off the site I RETURN with a difference and differently......more to follow but never fear the blog is coming back to life.


cool flash....Alexis Tr�panier

Normal service still not continuing - imminent arrivial of child into the world. Maybe I'll start some kind of diary as life as a parent, and then maybe not as theres plenty of blogs which cater for that particular wierdness. Postings will start again at the end of next week and then increase in frequency from then on..........

recent movie: Spiderman II 6.5 out of ten
recent book: quicksilver, Neal Stephenson...bloody excellent
weather: sunny, 3 degrees above freezing
music: Everyday is like sunday, Smiths

how fucking cool is this - new project (as if I haven't enough!) is to build my own PC...which of course means creates a monster as theres no need for half measures so presently looking at Pentium 4 with 384MB ram, or something, I have not a clue what clockspeed is or what 16 bit means, which is the point of doing this...Computer Cases, PC Cases - Starting at $24.99!

one of many sites devoted to the dark materials trilogy books.....and, again with the life under a stone, the movie!!His Dark Materials .org

Yeah, I know I said there would be no activity but lifes full of excitement isn't it - check out this blog, very interesting and at times disturbs......Jon's Jail Journal

The news is just in - Nevada has just declared for Bush. Bloody hell.

And yes, the blog has been very silent but baby related events have somewhat taken over. Thus, there will be a reactivation of it when the dust settles somewhat and K escapes hospital. Expect service to return in the next 2-3 weeks. (assuming that we're all still here and Bush has not declared war on the devil and starting drilling huge holes in the ground and lobbing nuclear bombs down them - it could happen). I've actually started to really get upset about the US, particularly when I read an article about 'intelligent design' (a dressed up version of creationism) being taught in American schools.

horrah...our generation of geeks come up with the goods, fuck you hollywood.....Film Threat - Reviews

More to come, expect changes, a slightly less burbling tone.....and heck, I dunno, c'mon....things are different.

so no surprises there then......Film Threat - Reviews

lovely cold crisp weather. but the temperatures already dropping beneath 10.......it bodes ill for the winter!


and it would appear that even the bogs are better here.....BBC NEWS | UK | England | Tyne/Wear | Call to end 'bog standard' loos

Sunday, and the day of the worship. I myself spent the morning in blissful workout mode which involved lots of sit ups and then a tendon testing session on the newly installed finger board above the bedroom door frame (the installation of which was one of the more nervewracking things I've done in while, drill on hammer setting against very hard brick - nasty noise, clutch continual slipping, scary monsters. Once again fertile imagination imagining drill bit suddenly snapping and burying itself in the wet bits of my head). Wandered off to one of Malmös coffee houses and drunk a vat of latte, washing down a rather nice and budget falafal.

film recently seen: Bourne Supremacy, fucking great. Really good.
book: Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland. I was expecting some kind of introspective on growing up but, as well as that, got a post apocalypse novel as well. cool.
music: Mirror in the Bathroom

minor disappointment: finding out that ICO, which I've meaning to buy for ages, costs over 50 quid on Amazon Uk as its now collectable.



nice pac man game.....Moonflip.com - Free Flash Games

So. A while ago, when I was in Iceland, I saw one the more disturbing and upsetting things that I've seen in a long time. Me, and my chums N (a chap, Dansk) and E (a lady, Svensk) were wandering up Rekjavik high street looking for somewhere to grab some food and maybe a beer or two. I was actually not that into a drinking fest, which N was, given that I'd just shook off a massive hangover. The last few hours had been spent being parboiled in the blue lagoon so I was feeling pretty mellow. So, we wandered up the hill, looking into restaurants when we heard raised voices - sorry, thats very English. These people were screaming at each other, a man and a woman. She was attractive and well dressed, he was a tank - a brick shit house. So they are walking towards us, still arguing, when suddenly, shockingly, he lashed out punching her in the face and then twice in the stomach. She stumbled to a halt while he simply strolled on. It was so brutal and so quick, that we were shocked into inaction. I put my hand onto her arm, but then she ran after him shouting and screaming incoherently. Me and N looked at each other and then he said - we should do something - so was went back down the street where the couple were shouting at each other again. Only about 20 seconds had passed. Even as we arrived she then punched him, in the face and he, once again, began to wade in. So, after only some minutes ago thinking about what to have for dinner I now found myself in between two stangers, trying to stop the guy hitting the girl again. As I put my hands on his arm and chest, I realised that his bicep was fucking huge - it was at this point I wondered vaguely if they'd fly my body home or just leave me where I fell. Fortunately he backed off, but the weird thing was - as N said later - was that it was almost as if we were not there, he seemed completely oblivious to our presence. He then began screaming at her, she screaming back. Her lip had been split and there was blood on her face. He suddenly stalked further off the street, checking his face to see if he was bleeding from where she had hit him - yeah mate, real fucking hero that you are. She realised we did not speak much icelandic so dropped into English, which was totally surreal. N, who is a trainee Doctor, checked out her face while reasuring her - one of her teeth had been cracked and broken. At the same time the guy had returned and was now prowling around us, him speaking in English now, demanding that she give him his money. So, she says that he can have his money and we end up in the surreal situation of escorting her to a cash machine where she drew out a load of cash and threw at the blokes feet. She then staggered further off down the street with us all in tow, the asshole picking up the cash from the street and then leaving up another street.
She was now in total shock, shaking and continually touching her already swelling face. She was crying like mad, so we used her phone to call the cops. Well, to cut a sad story short the cops turned up and while she was talking to one of them in the back of the cop car we gave our details to another. But heres the kicker, while we talking to her - waiting for the cops to turn up and trying to comfort her - turns out the guy, who it seemed was her boyfriend, was on steriods. Which went some way to explaining his total wierd state of mind when were trying to help her.

So, the post match analysis - in the pretend world we would have righteously waded into the bloke, beaten him up and sent him running home, she would have escaped a probably abusive relationship and everything would of worked out fine. In the real world we did little but pick up the pieces. We helped her, sure, but did we help enough? We have not heard from the Icelandic cops so either she pressed charges and the physical evidence was sufficient or, perhaps she did not.




well, I was going to blog another site but this one fought the law and broke in.......six degrees and the power of networks will have to wait. This is more geekness but its cool.....Quarks to Quasars, Powers of Ten

Morrisey, down boy....down, I'm not telling you again you muscled daffodil dispensing shambler.

A bit more sane today after a quick snooze on the couch. This afternoon was the first baby class which in true Swedish style involved coffee and cake, and some candles. It was all in Swedish, which truly tested my new found lanquage skills, so now I'm loaded up with the swedish for dilation, cervix, mucus plug and bloodbath.

Yesterday was a haze of proofreading which drifted into today after only five hours sleep and then back into copenhagen, though I escaped early for the afore mentioned baby class.
One of the Danes I'm working with made me most happy (i think) by saying 'your English is very good', under the impression I was Swedish. For the last few days I've been speaking Swedish to Danes and English to Swedes - confusing.


Train, Plane and Automobile interest circles. 'nuff said. Stoatface @ Fotopic.Net

I'm in proof reading hell.


and this ones going out to all you Billy Ray fans .....Questia Online Library - The Online Library

(a background of sawing guitars, blurring through a haze of holophonic static)
You remember the dream. Rising out of cool water, the sun suddenly warm on your chest as you look up to the infinite blue. A light smile passing across your face as you throw your arms sideways and float, the pressure of the water stopping your fall.
waking
Theres nothing to see on this ocean that cannot be seen on another day.

the devil will find work for idle hands to do.........

working my ass off in Copenhagen, tired, hungry (only consumed one Frankfurter in the last 6 hours) and really need to work out.

oh the devil will find work for idle hands to do...........

but I'm still fond of you, oh ho......


so, so, so cool. BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | SpaceShipOne rockets to success

but I'm still fond of you, oh ho ho. Morrisey revival going on here. stay in touch, mans been moving around Sweden and Denmark and been way to starry eyed to blog. So a hypercast update, conference in copenhagen, parents in Ronneby and pram buying.

I was happy in the haze etc etc


interesting and rather sad at times....mans inhumanity to monkeyFamous Monkeys Through History

The dark rolled in off the sea and crashed onto the glass sand of the beach in a silent wave of static. In the purple sky a lone paper bag blew on the mauve thermals, a sad song playing in the background. The hills on either side of the bay were dark and thoughtful, brown flecks of grazing perms moving slowly on their tight flanks. Far out, past the line of singing fish, just on the straight line of the horizon sat a group of fishing boats. The water slapped their cork sides as they wallowed in the warmth, the ruddy bearded children who worked the nets persuading the fish, politely, to step inside.

book: Finished the Iron Council by China Mieville, definitely his best. Clearly he's been reading his Gormenghast again. Also read 'I don't know how she does it', which was cool. Reading Dr. Miriam Stoppards book on raising children, so now becoming expert on breast pumps, the billion or so illnesses children can get and sleeping patterns.
film: Saw Crimson Tide all the way to the end, finally, and was rather disappointed. Like Logans Run (though clearly not in the same class) a film which benefits by stopping watching five minutes before the end. Soon to go and see Wimbledon (gak, gak.....vomit), Bourne Supremacy.
music: Lauryn Hill
weather: nice, sunny


very good, if you are in any way a Tim Burton fan this will be most appreciated.....AtomFilms - Robot Boy

nearly nothing but something, not quite a quickening but more than a mote appears a little speck of substance. Twisting and dancing now like a mad jot it appears small to the inhuman eye but on a scale of zeros has mass and a potent velocity.

quite enough of that. two cups of coffee today, more than I've drunk in ages (again), it'll be the fags next. Parents have been here the last week, its good for them to see me settled here. I'm away for the weekend along the coast, should be interesting.

incidently, I have not forgotten - more tales of iceland coming, including hangovers from hell, violence and Wolfgang.

where were we.......the great bulk of the slave ship tumbled from null space with arcane energies still flickering around the twisted metal of its hull...........




quite incredible news, medical science takes another bound....BBC NEWS | Health | Baby for ovary transplant woman

strangely, after yesterdays blog, this turned up on the gruaniad site today.....Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Guardian special: the world in 2020

Heres a thought for you, ten years ago (or maybe 15 if you really want to be sure) few of us had mobile phones, lap top computers (or those that we did have had the weight of a baby elephant and burnt a hole in the desk), cars were not stuffed full of microchips, cds were pretty cool, mp3 was an obscure piece of compression code, DVDs were the next big thing (yeah, right we said) and the effects in terminator (either one) were cutting edge. Now, think of this. Going further back, before us Generation Xers, our parents thought the humble tape a revolution, the transistor radio amazing and the mass production of the car astounding. Where am I going with this. Well, in ten or 15 years time mobile phones will not exist, none of us will carry lap tops and familar technology, just as in our parents time, will have changed beyond all recognition. This is the way things work, mobile phones will become smaller and smaller until we can place them inside our bodies, computers will have become completely commoditised and things like washing machines, microwaves and ovens will have ceased be commonplace because other technologies will have replaced them. They are just tools, and when we have self cleaning clothes and food which heats itself, they will be moved to the history books. Further, things we totally take for granted, like microsoft windows, html, the internet, petrol and film may have been completely replaced and rendered archiac. My point is this (somewhat based off a recent guru's lecture) that we (and certainly me) tend to base our idea of the future on what the present feels like. It will be completely different, even in the short space of 10 years. And if that doesn't seem realistic remember 10 years ago, 1994, we'd only just characterised stem cells, pentium I was pretty damn fast and the human genome was just a bunch of poorly understood letters.

nighty night.



very very cool site, well worth surfing around, very nice. One day all
sites will be like this. tokyoplastic v.2

its tiring to build an Ikea Hemnes cupboard, even harder to carry it 4 flights of stairs when it weighs more than you do. But now its assembled, and all that money and effort (and I include the diligence of the nimble fingered children in some far off land with their well honed drilling and measuring skills) has meant that we can now put stuff in another place, rather than leaving it somewhere else.

book: Gemma Bovary by Posy Simmonds; Modernity at Large by Arjun Appadurai (which is doing nothing but make me feel really thick) and, wait for it, China Mievilles new book - very exciting.

rather like e2 (remember that from ages ago, back when this blog was youthful and innocent, like a virginal rabbit skipping towards the chopper of doom), well, this is a little like that...but of course, more in homage and well, more worthy. Its a liff thing. BBC - h2g2 - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Poopsie Chuckle Chunks

Tuesday, started with a spirited driving lesson and then a quick comuter trip into work........look, I'm struggling to write anything remotely witty or interesting here, its been a long day and I've drank half a bottle of red wine for dinner. Actually, that should be with dinner otherwise that would be extremely worrying.

Started a new project at work today, linking together various business support mechanisms in the New European states. This therefore includes Lithuania, which has one of the highest rates for suicide in the world, according to a recent study by the WHO. Its apparently due to the very high rate of alcoholism....interestingly the USA is quite high up in the list of popping ones cork, due this time to easy access to firearms.

weather: its dark and mild, the second Swedish summer has arrived.
music: Morcheeba
book: oh god knows, same old bollocks about globalisation.

very noble Mr Blair, but you wonder how much of the argument he will take to his chum in the White House....BBC NEWS Politics PM gives dire warning on climate

Iceland, what a blast. Probably one of the most memorable trips I've had in a long time, incredible fantastic place. I'll scribble more later (when I'am not in my underpants and need to get to work soon), but some of the highlights are, one of the best nights in a bar in a strange place, bizarre scenary with little vegatation, geysers, lava (though the cold kind), geothermal power, terrible hangover and hours in the 'blue lagoon' sitting in 40 degree water in the rain, in the dark, surrounded by rolling clouds of steam. The conference was okay, though the two hour pep talk from a business guru was cool. More stories will include waterfalls, violence and evil lava.


given that my photo uploader piece of software has gone up the spout heres a website from Iceland from the totally trippy and surreal Blue LagoonBlue Lagoon this photos don't really reflect my experience of this place which was in the pissing rain (not that that mattered), in the dark.

music: the zeros, Icelandic strangenes, already very cool and I've only listened to a few minutes.....

I have to pack. Expect an update soon including blue lagoons, Björk and ponies.

old and dusty, but quite strange.....Chrome Moon FAQ V2.01

and some idle curiosity turned this up.....Max Headroom

blogging at the minute on something like the set from Blade Runner or Max Headroom (theres something to hunt for).....the rooms draped in thin sheets of plastic which gives it the appearence of afore mentioned cyberpunk movies or low buget pop videos. Yes, we've got the painters in. They burst through the door at 0730 every morning full of thinner and camel hair with a churlish yell of delight, never mind that I'm stumbling around SBN looking for a towel....oh well.

The blogs going to be quiet for a few days again, I'm off to Iceland this thursday so there'll be no blogging then (but such things will change when I get hold of my wireless laptap, cool). Its wednesday tommorow, yes I know, but thats also lanquage school night so there may be a lack of motivation.

heres some images of Sweden, from today:-

the brown spot on the skin of the woman who sat next to me on the bus.
the sun reflecting off the shiny steel of the observatory at the university.
the bill board guy mopping his face with a dirty hankerchief.
my driving instructor grabbing my foot.
the rumble of some studs car in the streets.
the realisation that I was an English man, reading a book about globalisation, on a bus in Sweden going to a company which has offices in Denmark and represents a network of 11 different countries.
a motorbike with two people on it.
the christmas carol.
the fingers.

The driving lesson was cool this morning, learnt how to crawl drive and change gear properly. I assume the handbrake turns are next week.

music: usual mixture but at the minute, Chicks on Speed
weather: lovely sunny
cute little flash site.....yugop.com

"and thats the way to crucify a fish" said my latin teacher, stepping back from the tree and letting the black and decker with dual hammer action slip from his scale encrusted hands.

its the weekend. enjoy it. there probably won't be another one like it.

most excellent D&D parody.....actually a little to close to the truth8bitDandD

Good morning.

Its been a lovely day today, no working late, no sweating feverishly and wishing for more hours in the day. Start the working week on wednesday and end it on friday, nice.

Completely lost my thread of thought there, listening to BBC and suddenly heard the news that SETI may have picked something up but turned out to be nothing....bugger, as the great man said.

The other good news out today was that I'm off to Iceland in a weeks time, the land of geysers and Björk (which means birch in Swedish, incidently), looking forward to that I must say.

One of those little differences which mean a lot (number nothing of an irregular series): in supermarkets you always wait to pay the cashier rather than the usual british style of scurrying after your shopping and then frantically running back to pay while the people waiting behind you click there teeth and hiss with disapproval. Here we wait patiently, pay, and then pack our goods while, wait for it, they use the divider to segragate your goods. ordered. scented. nice.

it took me a second to remember who Tom Lehrer is, which is a real shame as I really used to like listening to this guys stuff, his most famous tune being 'Poisoning Pidgeons in the Park. Here, in this lovely site, a cunning flash maverick has put the elements to a little flash animation, good stuff.....incidently, you do need speakers...Mike Stanfill, Private Hand - Flash Animation - The Elements, by Tom Lehrer

music: Radio 4, news
book: still the Lexus and the Olive Tree
weather: nice.
new skill: using the brake before changing gear, much smoother.

again with the question, why exactly did we come down from the trees?....BBC NEWS | Europe | Turkish man eyes squirting record

oh dear me.........BBC - 6 Music - Robert Smith Lookalike Gallery

more proof that the world is going mad....- More Useful Everyday

a you thought I'd forgotten the link......one man/womans crusade on the net to poke fun at the evilness of 419ers..What's the bloody point ??

and as the world goes to hell in a handbasket again I resume the frippery which is this, lovingly incoherent ramble through the backwaters of my mind. I've read, as I expect you might have done, my fair share of blogs out on the net. So things you won't find here is sneering commentary or insightful thoughts on the world we live in. Those of you who know me well will know that such insight occurs rarely and sneering even less (usually in sentences which include the words conservative, reimagining or piers anthony). This is not to say that all blogs are sneering or/and insightful, many are truly awesome whereas this one, like its author, is random, inconsequential and troubled by corns.

For the minute the great onslaught at work has calmed down. It all culminated with a two day trip to Finland last week which was most excellent. The reason was our yearly forum (conference under another name) which collected the movers and shakers from all over the Baltic region. Finland seemed cool but to be honest I saw little but my hotel room, the conference centre and a few choice bars. The days of giving presentations whilst still drunk seem to have gone, after a few beers I made my excuses and went to bed.

The weekend, and indeed the last two days of vacation, was most excellent.....English chum came over to visit and thus a trip to the summer house and Copenhagen was in order. All good.

music: creedance clearwater revival.
book: Lexus and the Olive Tree by T. Friedman (all about Globalisation), The Shadow of the Sun by Ryszard Kapiscinki (about Africa, fantastic) and Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane (very good thriller by the chap who wrote Mystic River). Also Camelot 3000 (as reminded to me recently) and HellRaiser (collected best).
weather: overcast.